Billy-Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.
Fucking A right Billy. Indeed some puppies have lost their way and the Hodags, “society”, didn’t know where to find them. Oh sure maybe we looked with a Guinness in one hand and a shot glass of Baileys and Jamo in the other, but were we really checking that church for our missing puppy or just peeing on it? Some of the big names of the drinking game have tapped their last Essen Haus boot, for the comfort of no longer having to smell decent or perform well in bed. We’ve lost some good ones before, but these gentlemen have been true masters of their craft. In Hectoresque manner a quick stock review.
DISCLAIMER: Ladies if you read this its all fun jokes… and I’m still coming to the weddings whether my invite is revoked or not.
Fucking A right Billy. Indeed some puppies have lost their way and the Hodags, “society”, didn’t know where to find them. Oh sure maybe we looked with a Guinness in one hand and a shot glass of Baileys and Jamo in the other, but were we really checking that church for our missing puppy or just peeing on it? Some of the big names of the drinking game have tapped their last Essen Haus boot, for the comfort of no longer having to smell decent or perform well in bed. We’ve lost some good ones before, but these gentlemen have been true masters of their craft. In Hectoresque manner a quick stock review.
DISCLAIMER: Ladies if you read this its all fun jokes… and I’m still coming to the weddings whether my invite is revoked or not.
MATT BRUSS
OVERVIEW:
On the day the bottom fell out on the Spindler market there was no foretelling that one day the kid who rolled out of the minivan, got nailed in the head with a car door by Carrington, and then crawled to the median to puke would ever make it to puberty much less stay awake long enough to get laid. Prevailing assumptions were that the only way this one would end was a common law relationship celebrated with a Nati Ice and a high five. But a late day announcement was made to the world with an email postulating the question, “hey, do you guys like super awesome times?”. Indeed super awesome times are well enjoyed but how will they change the market value of this highly rated stock?
PRE: Rated a strong sell by the Zach Morrison Investment Group, Bruss Inc Co. has been known to fluctuate wildly in value. Overall aggregate value has become a highly disputed topic amongst investment analysts. Some believe Bruss Inc Co. has retained a nominal high value and should deserve a strong buy rating. Those deeply invested in HyperFrisbeeMegaNet are known to hold Bruss Inc Co. in high regard. But market insiders with knowledge of Bruss Inc Co.’s new penchant for knitting warm wooly socks have deemed this a high risk stock with minimal yield. A poll believed to originate from Gessert.com, but actually just made up, shows a marked drop in most corporate ties and Bruss Inc Co barely holding value below YahooFantasyBaseball, a subsidiary of SucksMyAss Global. The lack of an overall consensus value amongst key industries makes this possible top performer an uncertain commodity.
RATING: Strong Hold
POST: The merger with Martyna Megacorp should not create any major shake ups for Bruss Inc Co. Previous partnerships between these two well respected corporations have shown a high level of synergy with very little downside to lead any to suspect a downward trend in value. However, a major lack of tech savvy especially in the area of communication could ultimately lead to the demise of this once unblastable stock.
RATING: Weak Hold
Next to be reviewed: WannaSeeMyJunk Industries
On the day the bottom fell out on the Spindler market there was no foretelling that one day the kid who rolled out of the minivan, got nailed in the head with a car door by Carrington, and then crawled to the median to puke would ever make it to puberty much less stay awake long enough to get laid. Prevailing assumptions were that the only way this one would end was a common law relationship celebrated with a Nati Ice and a high five. But a late day announcement was made to the world with an email postulating the question, “hey, do you guys like super awesome times?”. Indeed super awesome times are well enjoyed but how will they change the market value of this highly rated stock?
PRE: Rated a strong sell by the Zach Morrison Investment Group, Bruss Inc Co. has been known to fluctuate wildly in value. Overall aggregate value has become a highly disputed topic amongst investment analysts. Some believe Bruss Inc Co. has retained a nominal high value and should deserve a strong buy rating. Those deeply invested in HyperFrisbeeMegaNet are known to hold Bruss Inc Co. in high regard. But market insiders with knowledge of Bruss Inc Co.’s new penchant for knitting warm wooly socks have deemed this a high risk stock with minimal yield. A poll believed to originate from Gessert.com, but actually just made up, shows a marked drop in most corporate ties and Bruss Inc Co barely holding value below YahooFantasyBaseball, a subsidiary of SucksMyAss Global. The lack of an overall consensus value amongst key industries makes this possible top performer an uncertain commodity.
RATING: Strong Hold
POST: The merger with Martyna Megacorp should not create any major shake ups for Bruss Inc Co. Previous partnerships between these two well respected corporations have shown a high level of synergy with very little downside to lead any to suspect a downward trend in value. However, a major lack of tech savvy especially in the area of communication could ultimately lead to the demise of this once unblastable stock.
RATING: Weak Hold
Next to be reviewed: WannaSeeMyJunk Industries
posted by BrussSucks at
9:51 PM
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