Here’s my non-playing thoughts on the Cooler weekend.

1) John Sokolowski was there. Holly shit, major pleasant surprise for me. During half time of our first game he wrestled and killed a mountain lion with a plastic spoon, then assembled an AK-47 blindfolded using only his feet. He had to leave early to go to a Packer game, which is of course code for “bungee jump out of helicopter to implant a microchip into the brain of a South American dictator”.

2) Midway through the day I’m informed that Dean had sex with a 40+, recent divorce in Paradise’s bed the night previous. Nice work.

3) Dean, Dise and I go out in Milwaukee (other alumni are busy being hippy campers, or spending time with their “wives”). During the course of the night we meet one of Paradise’s fellow attorneys. Dean gets her to buy us shots (which she doesn’t have enough cash to pay for). I accuse her of trying to hit on us, she points out her husband and I immediately start questioning her about swinging. No word yet on how that situation is working out for Dise around the office. The next morning Dise and Dean are talking about girls they know from Milwaukee who they saw out the night before. I become incredulous and ask why I wasn’t introduced. Paradise informs me that he did introduce me and that less than one minute latter the girls told Paradise that they were going to a different part of the bar and that he was welcome, but that they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. No word yet on what the offending comments were.